so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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