Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
