dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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