My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
