She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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