Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
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The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
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He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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