And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
