I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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