I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
