Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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