He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
