so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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