I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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