with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3