Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse