T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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