Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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