He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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