I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
