In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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