I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
