i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
