She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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