whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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