He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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