I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
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I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
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walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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