Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?

(989): View more from Michigan

By definition I think it does.

(810): View more from Michigan

So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?

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(972): View more from Texas

I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.

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