your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
