And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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