i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
