Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
