party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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