I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
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All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
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I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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