I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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