I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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