Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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