Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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