When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
