Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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