Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
