Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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