I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize