the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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