didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
