A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
