doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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