Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
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It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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