Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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