It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
