go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize
