wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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