Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i will never coherently bang her
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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