You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
