Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
