I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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