Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
