this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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