And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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