gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
