She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize