The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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