You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
