when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
