i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
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I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
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She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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