The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize