yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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