Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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