went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
