My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
