Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
